We wouldn’t have to look far to identify anyone who lives single if we could sneak a peek inside American homes right now. And there’s a good likelihood that anyone can be a heterosexual guy, as per a recent Psychology Today article. Greg Matos, a married family psychotherapist, argued that the growth of “lonely, unmarried guys” resulted from women’s increasing expectations of men. In other words, it’s the increase in standards of women.
In particular, younger and middle-aged males are now more likely than ever to be single compared to women, which wasn’t the case 30 years ago. The increasing use of dating apps and men’s lack of essential relationship skills are two trends that Matos identified as factors in the difficulties of finding a spouse. In other words, some guys must find a way to take charge, or they will tend to ride through life alone.
This topic instantly generated online debates and stirred up activity on social media. While some internet users welcomed Matos’ findings and saw them as validating, others seized the chance to express their displeasure. To read the entire article and the responses from online users, scroll down. Be sure to leave your thoughts about it in the following comments section.
According to a recent American psychologist Greg Matos report, heterosexual males are more alone than ever because they struggle to live up to better marital standards.
Matos’ findings didn’t surprise women as much as they did males. Many others responded by noting that the article confirmed what they had long been saying about the dating environment. After all, a persistent trend demonstrates that women prefer to be single rather than waste energy on unworthy individuals. So it’s hardly unexpected, particularly in light of studies showing that men typically get more from heterosexual partnerships than women. Compared to bachelors, married men usually live longer, happier lives. On the other hand, women are more prone to associate the advantages of marriage with marital quality.
Also, the latest research shows that women are much better without men. In fact, the best example of the happiest subgroup in the UK is unmarried and child-free women. Paul Dolan, a behavioral science expert from the London School of Economics, said that according to the data analysis, men should be married. At the same time, women should stay without bothering about that.
Therefore, men need to address a “skills deficit” if they desire to truly make women’s time beneficial. Women look for partners who are “empathetic, compassionate and hold similar values,” according to Matos.
Men’s prospects of finding a match are already limited (considering they make up most of all dating app users). There are fewer options for males to find meaningful relationships. Because women are setting higher standards and being more assertive with their limits than before.
According to Matos, one factor contributing to men’s interpersonal skills gap is society’s failure to instill in young boys the value of communication. Since “emotional bond is the foundation of good, long-term love,” this has increased the percentage of single men. Therefore, the problem will only worsen unless men change how they approach dating and women.
Following the post, people began posting their responses to the topic on TikTok.
The complete video is available directly below.
Who would've guessed that women actually wanted to be treated like human beings??♬ original sound – James Doonquah
Here are the comments made by more TikTokers who also weighed in on the subject.
@brenttanye #dating #relationships #slefimprovement #lonelymen #highstandards #toxicmen #greenscreen ♬ Violin – Grooving Gecko
The discussion was also aided by Brenttany Sharraine, a TikTok creator who offers mindset and self-improvement advice for women. She shared a video claiming that “the tables have turned.” She claims that because women have long voiced their worries about how males treat them, they are not as astonished by Matos’ article.
Women aren’t astonished since they are driving change from the front seat. Men have relied on women’s need for love, affection, and provision as a primary means of gaining access. Even though they lack the key characteristics necessary to maintain a long-term successful relationship. Core principles. Women would want to remain unmarried till the ideal man for the position materializes.
Additionally, she continued, more women are setting healthy limits and refusing to accept the flimsy standards that males used to be able to get away with. The rise of the matriarchy, according to some, but the healthiest type of natural selection, in my opinion. Women have accepted responsibility and emotionally and mentally healed themselves. In contrast to 50 years earlier, they now have a “want” rather than a “need” to find a companion.
According to Brenttany, men need to boost their dating game if they hope to find a stable partner. Men are physiologically happier when coupled romantically.
This adjustment benefits both men and women in the long run, not only women. According to Brenttany, men will now have more meaningful connections with women and the people around them, connect on a deeper level, and access their masculine energy.
@bronteremsik #stitch with @literallylancevideos ♬ original sound – bronte remsik
It appears that several men were not pleased with the article. Several of them were so indignant that they even sent the couple’s psychologist to hate mail, complaining that women are “too choosy” and have “double standards.” Later, Matos responded to the irate males on TikTok by posing the question, “Why? Considering that all I’m asking of you is to put forth your best effort. Just that. Just being the better representation of yourself is all I’m asking of you.
He also claimed that he always works on self-improvement. So why not look at the relationships, the people I cherish and claim to love, but not question myself, how can I love these individuals more? Why would I not challenge myself?” he said. Unless I felt scared.
Matos’s opinion is summarized as follows, “The leaders I’ve met while traveling the world are the most efficient; they are skilled in human interactions.” “All of us realize our full potential while being aware of the resources, mental health services, and therapists with available communication skills. Why wouldn’t you?
Even though males often lash out when called out for adverse actions, the psychologist expressed optimism for the “transformation” of men and stated that there is some positive news. Seeking counseling to address their skill gaps is one way. In addition, self-reflection, beginning with the first date and continuing forward, are some of his recommendations for how men might reduce their odds of being single.