Dad & fiancée exclude his daughter from their wedding after she bought a dress & shoes for it


AM I WRONG FOR LETTING PEOPLE KNOW THE REAL REASON I WASN’T AT MY DAD’S WEDDING? I’ve always been pretty close to my dad. A few years ago, he started dating Anna. Anna and I always got along, so when my dad proposed, I was happy. It seemed like she would be a great stepmom. I bought a dress,  shoes, etc., to look decent at their  wedding, but a few weeks before the ceremony, my dad and Anna said they banned me from it. They decided to have a child-free  wedding, which includes no one under 18. On the day of the wedding, I was still going to be 17, so, therefore, I was not allowed to be at the wedding because Anna wanted to stay true to the child-free rule, even for the daughter of the groom and her about-to-be stepdaughter. The funny thing is my 18th birthday was just two days after the wedding. But still, I wasn’t allowed to go. My mom ended up taking me on a birthday vacation, and yesterday I posted birthday pictures on Facebook. I wrote, “I’m so glad my dad and Anna didn’t allow me at their  wedding since I was under 18; I feel more mature since yesterday.” The family was freaking out, asking if that was true and bashing my dad and Anna. I later got a bunch of texts from my dad and Anna calling me immature and selfish and saying that’s why I was too immature to be at a  wedding. I would like to know, am I wrong for letting people know the real reason I wasn’t at my dad’s wedding?

Reddit is a platform where individuals share their life stories and seek advice and opinions from other Reddit users regarding their decisions.

A young girl revealed that her father and his fiancée did not invite her to their wedding, and she talked about the reasons for their hurtful choice.

I (18) had a strong bond with my dad. I saw him about 3-4 times a week. A few years ago, he began dating “Anna”. I was thrilled when my dad proposed because Anna and I always got along well. She seemed like she would make a great stepmom.


The OP was very excited for the wedding and had already purchased a dress and shoes. However, her dad mentioned that he and his fiancée needed to have an important conversation with her.

A couple of weeks before the wedding, after I had purchased everything (dress, shoes, etc.), my dad and Anna informed me that they wanted to have a child-free wedding, which I understood, especially for young kids.

It appears that being “child-free” means no one under 18 is allowed. Since I would still be 17 on the wedding day, I am not permitted to attend the wedding. Anna wants to uphold the child-free policy, even for the groom’s daughter and her soon-to-be stepdaughter.


Devastated, OP told her mom what her dad and Anna said to her. The mom was as heartbroken as her daughter and decided to take her on vacation so that she cheer up. At the same time, the mom told the rest of the family what her ex-husband did to their daughter. Understandably, most of them were shocked and angry.

Afterwards, the OP shared birthday photos on Facebook and stated, “I’m really happy that my dad and Anna didn’t let me attend their wedding because I was underage; I feel more grown-up now.”

The family was panicking, questioning the truth and criticizing my dad and Anna. Later, my dad and Anna texted me, calling me immature and selfish, saying I was too immature to attend a wedding. Some friends told me I was being rude and should have just moved on.


Fellow redditors shared their opinions and agreed that OP wasn’t an AH for telling the family what her dad did to her.

NTA. It’s strange for a man not to have his own child at his wedding. They made their decision, so if they’re confident in it, they shouldn’t mind it being known. Otherwise, people might think you skipped the wedding because you didn’t like his new wife or preferred a vacation. Clarifying the reason for your absence protects your reputation.

The decision to have no children was specifically for you. Take some time to process that. She established that boundary to exclude you. You now understand your position in their relationship…which is nonexistent. I apologize. Not the A-hole. I believe it was legendary. Brutal but legendary. They deserved to be called out. I might even enhance it by sharing screenshots of their messages.

One person suggested, “I can’t help but think that she intentionally chose a date before OP’s birthday so she couldn’t attend. If the dad and step-mom wanted to have a child-free event but still wanted OP to be there, they could have scheduled it after OP’s birthday. But to have it just two days before… nah, they didn’t want her there and were just using that as an excuse.”

We think the father was wrong to exclude his own daughter from the wedding.

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